


Apology

by joneinyourarea



Series: Stray Kids Fics [7]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, past 2Min, past hyunsung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:40:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20525903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joneinyourarea/pseuds/joneinyourarea
Summary: minho's a mess between trying to decide if seungmin's worth the heartbreak or if he should continue with jisung.and right now, it seems like seungmin's winning?





	Apology

**Author's Note:**

> written in 2016 for an astro pairing but i'm bringing this shizz back because idk ye.

_Minho sat, in an impatient sort of uncomfortable silence, in that stupid hard metal chair inside his and Seungmin's favorite cafe: Moomin and me. He understands that Seungmin has certain important things to do, what those things are is still unknown to Minho, and that he can sometimes run late, but Seungmin is over two hours late to this one date that he promised Minho he'd be on time for. To say he isn't upset at Seungmin would be a lie; he's disappointed. He had trusted that Seungmin would keep this one, but Minho was a fool to believe in empty promises that were bound to be broken (along with another piece of Minho's heart). His eyes quickly scanned the cafe for the twentieth time in ten minutes as he picked up his sweetened black peach tea (his fifth since he'd arrived at the shop to wait for Seungmin) to sip while he tried to forget about the passing time._

_Just as he was about to get up and forget meeting with Seungmin for their date, a very exhausted looking Seungmin came crashing through the door of the cafe (just as he has many times before) and barreling towards his and Minho's usual table. As soon as he sits down there are apologies slipping out of his mouth left and right, excuses flowing just as effortlessly. As soon as Seungmin comes in for a hug Minho knows why he's late; he's always known (he's given Seungmin the benefit of the doubt) , but now he's positive. He sees the way Seungmin's eyes are darting everywhere throughout the cafe; everywhere but into his own. Even his posture gives him away; his whole aura is like a blinking traffic sign calling out to Minho. His hair is tousled and his outfit is disheveled, not to mention the worried glances he keeps throwing Minho's way. There are bruises on his neck (Minho knows what they are, but he refuses to call them anything more than bruises because when he does everything would become even more real) and Minho wonders if he'd even tried to take the time to cover up his mistakes. More than anything, though, is the robust scent of cologne: cologne that belongs to neither Minho nor Seungmin. It was then that Minho was positive that there was another man Seungmin was involved with, and he was even more certain that Seungmin had spent more time with the other man than he had with Minho. Minho began to question himself, how long had this been happening? Was he the one being played, or was he the other man? And why does he have such bad taste in men? If only he knew..._  
*  
*  
*

_Minho never questioned Seungmin; not once. He never questioned why Seungmin was always late, he never questioned why he was always so distant, and he sure as hell never questioned Seungmin about the other boy. He'd trusted that Seungmin would never hurt him._

_'Well aren't I just an idiot?'_

_They awkwardly sat through their date, sipping their sweet drinks whenever words got stuck in their throats (Minho found he'd done it most of the time). Minho calmly sat back in his chair as he watched Seungmin's every move. He watched as Seungmin's eyes darted around the cafe for something, _ _for someone_ _. He watched on as Seungmin's fingers tapped an unsteady, chaotic beat on the table (one that matched the rapid tapping of his foot as his leg bounced up and down in a quick yet rhythmic way). Seungmin was nervous, the reasoning unknown. Minho's not quite sure he wants to know the reason though. He let out shallow breaths as his eyes kept scanning the faces of the people surrounding him. One of these people could be the person that Seungmin leaves him for in the middle of the night; they could be the source of Seungmin's happiness and Minho Isn't ready to see the face of his homewrecker, not yet anyway. Despite how certain he is, Minho still has that small sense of hope that Seungmin _ _isn't_ _ cheating on him. That he doesn't sneak off (or make thousands of excuses) to go spend time with another man. He wants to believe that Seungmin still loves him._

_'Has he ever loved me truly?'_

_But then Seungmin swallows hard, and Minho assumes that he's made eye contact with that something he's been searching for like crazy. Minho takes a deep breath and prepares himself for the worst possible scenario, already tossing that small sliver of hope out the window (along with the shattered pieces of his heart) as he sees Seungmin wave somebody over.__  
_*  
*  
*

_Minho watches as a smile creeps it's way onto Seungmin's face. His own smile, plastered and fake, falls off his face when he notices how bright and intense Seungmin's eyes become, and then he feels a sort of presence behind him. Right before he turns he sees Seungmin looking at the presence behind him as if they were the female lead in "Secret Garden" and he himself was the male lead. Minho knew then, without having to turn around, that whatever he and Seungmin had previously had was gone. That one look in Seungmin's eyes, directed at whoever ended up standing behind him, was more powerful than anything Seungmin could've done or said to Minho and it pained him to know that Seungmin would never look at him, never love him, as much as he does when it comes to the other person. Minho was always the second option, and now he's finally realizing that he was only the second best and that the first was behind him. He doesn't even have to turn around to know that whoever is behind him is looking at Seungmin the same way._

_'I never stood a chance, and I never knew because I've been blind.'_

_Seungmin motioned for the person to come sit next to him. Minho had to close his eyes for a minute so he could calm himself down, but when he opened them he was met with a very tall, thin boy sitting across from him. He had light brown eyes, a narrow nose (that Minho found to be super adorable, almost puppy-like. 'I'm supposed to be the person that resembles a cute puppy, not him.') and a very attractive smile. His hair was a dark brown that contrasted heavily with his seemingly light, caramel skin tone. He was wearing a bright red sweatshirt, Seungmin's favorite bright red sweatshirt ('he'd never let me wear that sweatshirt.'), and faded skinny jeans ripped at the knees. His shoes were black sneakers and they were scuffed. Minho eyed him skeptically, and mentally slapped himself, because Seungmin looked totally whipped for this kid ten seconds ago and he still does as he looks at him through his lashes._

_"Hi, I'm Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin, nice to meet you!"_

_"Minho. Likewise."_

_After a while, the boy and Seungmin fell into step leaving Minho to sulk in his seat by the window. He watched them interact with each other and almost burst into tears when He saw Seungmin's arm around Hyunjin's shoulder (before he slid it off to most likely intertwine his hand with the boy's under the table). Minho was seething with envy, he was questioning what that boy had that he didn't because if anything he thought that he had way more to offer than the stupid boy that Seungmin was gawking over. He was frustrated to no end and he wanted answers to questions he would never have the courage to ask; he was stuck with no way out._

_It's been three weeks since the cafe incident with the Hyunjin kid that Seungmin was way too friendly with and Minho's been going insane. He wants to rip all of his hair out and find a way to get to the bottom of the situation at hand, but he's too much of a coward to ask questions. He's getting nowhere and he's unsatisfied with his results, but he can't bring himself to ask Seungmin any questions about Hyunjin because if he does he'll probably loathe every second he has to sit through Seungmin fawning over him. He hates himself more and more as each day passes by without any answers, he's frustrated with himself but he just can't ask those questions. He's not ready for Seungmin to leave yet, and if keeping quiet means he gets at least some small sliver of attention from Seungmin for even a minute then he'd sew his mouth shut and bask in what he could get._

_He doesn't get the attention he's been seeking, though. Instead, him keeping quiet has gotten him a few extra days with his so-called boyfriend. They aren't even good days because Seungmin just sits next to him while he texts Hyunjin. Minho is upset; he's infuriated. This Hyunjin kid just showed up and took his Seungmin away from him without warning and he didn't like it at all, but if he did something to Hyunjin Seungmin would definitely leave him without questions. He'd run over to Hyunjin's house and make sure he's okay, leaving Minho in his own home to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and try to fix himself as best he could._

_Minho didn't want Seungmin to leave, but he knew the day would come soon. He knew he was being selfish by keeping Seungmin for as long as he had, but he didn't have it in himself to break up with Seungmin; not even when he brought another man on their date. He loved Seungmin and he still does, no matter how much Seungmin's hurt him in the past few days. He just wishes he was still in the dark with Seungmin because then he'd at least be happier._

_Who was this Hyunjin kid anyway? Who does he think he is? Why does he think he can come up into a relationship and ruin it? Holy shit, what if Hyunjin didn't know and he only thought Minho was Seungmin's friend? Does he know that he's ruining someone's happiness or is he as ignorant as Minho has been for a while? More importantly, when did he come into the picture? Minho and Seungmin have been together for over two years, how long has Hyunjin been with Seungmin? Has he been there the whole time? Minho has so many unanswered questions that he's terrified to know the answers to and too much time on his hands..._

_Minho walks to their cafe slowly, almost as if he were trying to walk backwards instead of forward. Seungmin has called him, telling him to meet at their usual spot; he also said he was already there waiting for Minho. Minho knows what's coming, he's known for two months. Now he's just trying to keep it from coming for as long as he possibly can because he's still not ready._

_It takes him thirty five minutes to walk to the cafe from his house (that was only five minutes away). He'd made so many stops just to buy time so he could hold off for a few more minutes, he even texted Seungmin telling him that he might take a while because he was at Chan's house (and he even asked Chan to lie for him, which he did because he knew of Minho's situation. He even had Woojin lie to Seungmin too when Seungmin had called him worried that Minho wouldn't show up to this thing that was 'so important'). When he walks into the cafe he sees Seungmin wave him over hurriedly, so he quickly walks over and sits down in the seat across from Seungmin, looking everywhere but into Seungmin's eyes. Seungmin looks at him with a smile that Minho registers as guilty more than happy. There's a sadness that surrounds Seungmin and Minho knows exactly what's coming next._

_"Minho, we need to talk."_

_He tilts his head to the side while looking at Seungmin as if he's clueless, as if he doesn't know what's about to come out of Seungmin's mouth. He takes a deep breath and quietly motions for Seungmin to continue with what he's going to say._

_"I don't think this is working anymore."_

_"I don't understand."_

_"Minho, I don't think we should be together anymore."_

_"But what happened to being together forever?"_

_"It was stupid of me to say something like that so carelessly, especially when I didn't mean any of it."_

_"But you- you promised."_

_"Promises are meant to be broken Minho."_

_"But-"_

_"I think it's best if you forget me"_

_"Seungmin."_

_"Pretend I don't exist, pretend we never existed."__  
_*  
*  
*

_Seungmin looked at Minho sadly one last time._

_"You need someone better, you deserve that much."_

_"Seun-"_

_"Goodbye Minho."_

_With those last words Seungmin stood up and pushed his way out of the cafe. Minho sat there, tears streaming down his face relentlessly. When they had started free falling was unknown to Minho, he only knows that his heart was ripped out and stomped on. He doesn't know how long he sits there wallowing in self-pity, but he does catch the obvious stares from the other people that are trying to look sympathetic (but really they just pity him). He quickly fixes himself and tries to walk out the cafe, but when he goes to open the door it collides with his face and then he's on the floor. The person immediately crouches down to Minho's level ('oh, he's handsome') and tries to help him up._

_"I'm sorry, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault, oh my gosh! Oh how rude of me, are you okay? You're not injured, right? Do you need help? Oh gosh, are you alive? Please tell me you're alive, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I'd killed you! Oh my goodness I'm such a terrible person, I'm so sorry! I'm not usually clumsy like this! I just- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"_

_"It's okay, really. I'm fine"_

_"Oh holy fuck, mother of god, cheese and rice you're alive! I'm so sorry I-"_

_"It's okay, honestly."_

_"No, no it's not! I'm so sorry I hit you....Oh how rude of me! What is your name?"_

_"Minho."_

_"Minho. I'm so sorry Minho! I didn't mean to hit you with the door, I have to go, I'm so sorry again!"_

Minho walks into yet another bar to try and get his mind off Seungmin. He drowns himself in sorrow and glasses (Full glasses, Minho thinks shot glasses are for wimps) of Vodka. It's been two weeks since Seungmin dumped him and he's getting worse, not better: his hair's a mess, his eyes are bloodshot, and he looks like he just rolled out of a dumpster, but he doesn't care because he has nobody to impress. He's alone, and there's nobody that can fix him.

When Minho's closing in on two hours of vodka and self-pity, he feels a presence next to him. He looks up to find a very familiar boy and he doesn't remember where from at first, but then the boy's eyes widen a little at the song change and Minho suddenly remembers that face: the face of the boy who smashed a door in his face. The boy looks over at Minho with his eyebrows furrowed and a little pout on his face.

"You look familiar, but I don't remember your name."

"I'm Minho."

"Ah, Minho! I remember now."

"You do?"

"Yes, I hit you with a door two weeks ago. I'm sorry by the way."

"You told me multiple times."

"Oh, I'm Jisung by the way."

"Nice to meet you."

Jisung smiled and called the bartender over to ask for more of whatever was in his glass.

"Do you mind me asking what happened to you?"

"Oh, no. My boyfriend broke up with me for the guy he was cheating on me with."

"Oh, I'm sorry Jisung."

"It's okay, and you? Why are you here?"

"Actually, me too. Seungmin left-"

"Seungmin, as in Kim Seungmin?"

"Yes."

"Hyunjin used to talk about him way too much."

"Hyunjin? Hwang Hyunjin? Tall, extremely awkward looking, but actually loud and bubbly?"

"Yes!"

"Seungmin brought him on one of our dates...."

"Oh, damn."

Jisung gestured for the bartender to fill up Minho's glass as well, and pushed Minho's hand away when he went to wave for the bartender to add it to his tab. They sat there, in the corner of the crowded bar, talking about everything: from their ex boyfriends to why fire trucks were red (which, in their drunken states, they figured to be the work of fire fairies). They talked until past closing time (two hours past closing time) and only left after the bartender, who'd heard their whole conversation, stopped giving them alcohol and sent for a cab. He helped both boys get inside the cab and waited for one of them to mumble an address. When Jisung mumbled something resembling a street name, and the cab driver looked like he knew where to go, the bartender finally locked up the bar and made his way to his own home.

Jisung, seeing a very sleepy Minho, thanked the cab driver and picked up Minho, carrying him into the house. He set Minho down on his bed and took his shoes off before tucking him in and leaving for the couch. He quickly grabbed a pillow and some blankets before wrapping himself up on the couch and falling asleep.

*  
*  
*

Minho woke up to someone lightly shaking him awake, and when he opened his eyes he felt a throbbing in his head. He looked for the source of his lessened sleeping time and was met with a very attractive Jisung with disheveled hair and cute, dark pajamas.

"I made breakfast if you're hungry."

"Is there greasy food?"

"The greasiest."

"Oh my god, I love you so much right now."

Jisung chuckled before ruffling Minho's hair and trying to get him motivated.

"Come on, get up."

"I don't wanna."

"How are you going to eat, if you don't get up?"

"Magic."

"I bet, come on."

"Ugh, fine."

Minho quickly gets out of bed by rolling (and falling to the floor) before he was led to the kitchen by Jisung. He quickly took a seat and stared, in awe, at all of the foods laid out on the table. Jisung had smiled sheepishly before ducking his head, a red tinge slowly making its way to the apples of his cheeks.

"I didn't know what you liked, so I made everything."

"Wow, this all looks so good!"

"Thanks, eat up."

Minho, being the person he is, nodded his head and began happily munching on anything he could get his hands on. He was, however, more self-conscious with Jisung around so he ate an exceptionally small amount of food compared to his normal routine so he didn't scare him off. Once he was done (but not full) he quickly thanked Jisung for the food before looking away awkwardly. He didn't know what to do next, should he ask to stay? Should he leave?

"Hey, do you wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure."

"Great! Do you need some clothes?"

"Um, yes, I do actually."

"Okay, follow me."

Jisung leads Minho back into his bedroom and motions towards the dresser.

"There are all sorts of pants, shorts, whatever in there. In there (he quickly turns and points towards his closet) is where my shirts are located, but if you'd like to wear a sweater because of the weather then the sweaters are also in the dresser."

He quickly shuffles through his dresser for a some clothes and then turns toward the door.

"I'm going to go change, come out whenever you're ready okay?"

Minho swallows thickly, then quickly nods his head in agreement. Jisung smiles and then turns and walks out the door, shutting it in the process. He quickly walks over to the dresser and pulls open the top drawer. Inside are multiple pairs of jeans, all folded and placed nicely; organized. He searches through the many pairs of jeans until he finds a pair of ripped jeans that he felt would suit him. After he put the jeans on he moved to the sweater drawer. He looked until he found a gray sweater that looked two sizes too big. He smiled in satisfaction and quickly pulled the sweater over his head. When he finished he looked at himself in Jisung's mirror, picked up his shoes, and quietly walked out the door. When he walks out of Jisung's room he looks up to see Jisung sitting on the couch waiting, his phone in his hand and him smiling sadly at whatever is on the screen.

_Jisung waits up for Hyunjin to get home from work. He said he would only be a couple of minutes late because his boss held him later than usual to help with some project due the next day, so like the fool he is Jisung stayed up to wait for his boyfriend to return home. Thirty minutes pass by without Jisung flinching because he knows the five o'clock traffic is terrible, so he assumes Hyunjin's stuck in traffic. His hopes dwindle down as ten more minutes fly, then twenty and so on. He gives up hope that Hyunjin will be home at a decent time when he picks phone up (from the coffee table) and presses the power button only to see the time that pops up._

_9:35_

_Jisung's been waiting almost six hours for Hyunjin to return home from work, and it only dawns on him then that maybe Hyunjin was never at work in the first place... maybe he never had to stay late for some project because there might not have been one in the first place. It only dawns on him when it's too late to think of anything else, and when he does realize what's happening he remembers the one name Hyunjin kept mentioning: Kim Seungmin. The boy Hyunjin claims to be only friends with, but if Jisung knows anything from being Hyunjin's friend for six years before dating him it's that Hyunjin's a terrible liar, even through text. Hyunjin can't lie to save his own life and the fact that he would lie to Jisung is concerning because what's so bad about this Kim Seungmin that he has as a "friend" that he'd have to lie to Jisung and sneak around behind his back, unless.....NO. Jisung won't think of that because that can't be what's happening. Hyunjin loves him and only him, he would never do something like that to him, would he?_

_Jisung's scared now because the thought of Hyunjin loving someone other than him is terrifying; all he knows is him and Hyunjin. and the fact that Hyunjin knows more than just him and Jisung is petrifying because that means Hyunjin can up and leave at any moment. Jisung's scared and over thinking and he doesn't know what to do because that possibility is looking like the answer to the question he's too scared to ask. He doesn't want to know, so he doesn't. He locks those thoughts of 'what if' in his brain and leaves them untouched (which could end up being a mistake), left to be forgotten. He goes straight to his and Hyunjin's room, plugs his phone in, and changes for bed before he finally lays down to go to sleep, but he can't. He tosses and turns in the bed for another hour before he decides to pick up his phone and message Hyunjin._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _Hey, where are you? _ _   
_ _Sent at 11:00 P.M._

_To: PrettyBoi_ _   
_ _Work. _ _   
_ _Received at 11:45 P.M._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _When will you be home?_ _   
_ _Sent at 11:47 P.M._

_To: PrettyBoi_ _   
_ _Later._ _   
_ _Received at 12:23 A.M._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _How much longer?_ _   
_ _Sent at 12:25 A.M._

_To: PrettyBoi_ _   
_ _My god, are you my mom?_ _   
_ _Received at 12:37 A.M._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _I was worried! You told me you'd be home by 5_ _   
_ _Sent at 12:40 A.M._

_To: PrettyBoi_ _   
_ _So stop then._ _   
_ _Received at 12:59 A.M._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _Stop what? Worrying?_ _   
_ _Sent at 1:01 A.M._

_To: PrettyBoi_ _   
_ _Yeah, some of us don't care._ _   
_ _Received at 1:33 A.M._

_To: BeanPole_ _   
_ _What the hell?_ _   
_ _Sent at 1:39 A.M._ _   
_ _[read]_

_Jisung rolls over on his bed, frustrated with Hyunjin. He must be drunk, Jisung knows Hyunjin only acts like this when he's drunk so he must have been drinking. He can't stand it though, the fact that Hyunjin had said that he didn't care. It hurt to know that someone that used to be his best friend doesn't care about him, so he put that thought in the back of his mind with....the other thought. He he wanted to try to go to sleep, so he closed his eyes and pulled the blankets closer to him. He kept rolling and soon his eyes popped open again. He couldn't sleep. There was a long sigh that came out of Jisung's mouth before the shrillness of the silence hit him again and he was left to drown in his loneliness._

_Jisung finally falls asleep around 3:30 A.M., but it was a very restless sleep. He couldn't stay still so he constantly turned and kicked. He woke up again around 4:55 A.M. to check his phone and when he saw no response from Hyunjin he got up and walked around the house to search for him. When he opened the door to his bedroom the house was dark, silent. He walked into the living room and searched for any sign of Hyunjin, something out of place. There was nothing out of place, there was nothing but the darkness of the room and the cold vibes he was getting from it._

_He finally walks back into his room (after searching the house for an hour), and checks his phone again to see a voicemail from Hyunjin. He quickly clicked on the name and eagerly pressed the phone to his ear. His smile faded as he heard his voicemail continue, and when it was over he'd wished that he had never listened to it. He quickly pressed the name again and listened to the voicemail over and over. It was around the fifth time when Jisung had finally had enough and threw his phone against his wall, most likely creating a small hole and cracking his entire screen. He didn't care, though, nor was he wasting his time trying to search for that piece of trash in the dark. His energy was wasted and he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep, so that's what he did: he crawled onto his bed, tucked himself under his blanket, and drifted off to sleep._

_Jisung wakes up the next morning thinking about that goddamn voicemail, then he remembers that he threw his phone and goes to search for it. He quickly got up and searched throughout his room for his phone. When he finally did find it, he flipped it over to see the screen shattered to pieces. With a mission, he quickly picks out clothes, takes a quick shower, gets dressed, and quickly walks out the door with a purpose: to fix his phone screen._

_When he finally makes it to his car, he turns the key and listens to the radio while humming to songs he likes quietly. The car ride was about thirty minutes long, and about five minutes into the drive he hears a song that he doesn't want to hear: Super Junior's 'This is Love'. His mood immediately sours and he turns the radio off, harshly, choosing to sit the rest of the car ride in silence. When he finally arrives at the store, he quickly parks the car and trudges into the store to fix his screen (and he's not happy about it either). When he walks in there is a muscular person that stands behind the counter with his generic 'I'm working, I have to be nice' smile. His hair is light brown and fluffy looking; his eyes are just as light as his hair; his skin is a milky caramel tone that makes him glow; his nose is prominent and very proportional; his smile, that flashes his blindingly white teeth, is very attractive and he has little dimples that form as his eyes crinkle and practically disappear, but what catches his attention is the name tag that's placed so carefully on his black sweater with the name Seungmin printed largely across it. Seungmin smiles at Jisung (who has the urge to roll his eyes and jump over the counter and beat the attractiveness out of his face) and quietly asks what he needed assistance with._

_"Um, I broke my phone screen on the concrete and I need the front replaced."_

_"Can I look at your screen real quick?"_

_Jisung quickly pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over to Seungmin who makes a sound of disapproval before he makes his way to the back of the store. Jisung watches as Seungmin searches for the right screen replacement and he watches as Seungmin fixes his screen carefully. He comes back to the front and carefully hands him his phone back, preaching about how Jisung should be more careful, but Jisung can't concentrate on the words spewing from Seungmin's mouth because all he's concentrating on is the voicemail he'd received less than eight hours ago. All he could think about were the words Hyunjin had spoke through the speaker of his phone. When he left, he felt worse than when he'd entered the store._

_Jisung's drained. He doesn't know what to do anymore so he does what any normal person would do: he goes to the store and buys giant tubs of ice cream to eat while watching bad romance films. He quickly makes his way to the grocery store closest to his house, parking near the front door. He quickly walks into the store and makes a beeline for the freezer section. Upon reaching the freezer section he made his way to the ice cream and picked out a tub of chocolate ice cream as well as a tub of vanilla ice cream. He walked over to the candy aisle and picked up three huge bags of candy (full of mixed funsized chocolates) and a bag of skittles._

_When he thinks he's found everything he's looking for, he quickly walks up to the register and grimaces. He looks for another line to be open, but only the twelfth register's light is on (signaling that there is someone to help ring him up) with someone wearing a goddamn attractive smile. When he gets there he looks up at the man he saw two days ago and wonders how many jobs this kid has while he forces a smile on his face and asks the generic 'how are you?' with a 'I'm fine, and you?' because behind the counter is none other than Seungmin. His hair was the same; his eyes, smile and whole aura was the same, yet his shirt was a brighter color. Jisung was seething and he wanted nothing more than to smash Seungmin's face against the cash register, but instead he handed over his cash and waited for change before harshly grabbing his bags and making his way to the door._

_He huffed in annoyance when he finally exited the store and quickly searched for his car. When he found it, he threw his groceries into the back seat, fixed himself in the front seat, and then slammed his head onto the steering wheel. Jisung didn't do anything; he sat in silence for five minutes before he turned the key and finally left the parking lot, a part of his heart shattered further and tears threatening to spill over even more._

_When he made it to his house he quickly found sad movies and ate ice cream straight from the tub because he didn't care anymore. He gave up and called Woojin, asking if he'd like to join him and when he got the approval he waited for his friend to arrive. Jisung was so into his movie that he didn't realize Woojin had arrived until he plopped down next to him with the tub of vanilla ice cream and one of the three bags of chocolate. He quickly pulled Jisung closer and comforted him the only way he knew possible: by feeding him sweets and letting him cry on his shoulder when necessary. Woojin told Jisung that Hyunjin was just a fool and wiped his tears before putting in the next movie: Romeo and Juliet. They watched movies all night until Jisung fell asleep (around 2 in the morning), leaving Woojin to carry him to his room. After thirty minutes of struggling to pick him up and another twenty five minutes of actually carrying him to his room, Woojin finally left after leaving a small post it note on Jisung's door._

_Jisung wakes up (confused) to the smell of bacon, eggs, and cinnamon. When he gets up he finds a note from Woojin on his door saying:_

_Jisung,_

_I carried you to your room and left at about 3 A.M. and drove to Chan's house, and I told him what you told me. We'll be over in the morning to cook you breakfast! We know you're a great cook, but Chan's not bad himself and you need someone else to take care of you while you're still upset so don't even try to say no to us! Well, see ya in the morning, also we'll be checking up on you for a while. Love you~_

_Love always,_

_Your sunshine boy (this is Woojin btw, not some creepy old dude claiming to be me!)_

_P.S. What have you been eating dude, you're like five thousand pounds! (not really, you're actually pretty fit. I'm just a smol child though, so it felt like a kid carrying one of those giant teddy bears that are five times taller than them). See ya in the morning sleeping beauty!_

_Jisung laughs at Woojin's antics and silently thanks him as he makes his way to the kitchen. He walks in to find Chan and Woojin wrapped up in each other while cooking french toast ('maybe they're just really close friends.'). He was about to shake it off when Chan suddenly turned around and looked at Woojin with such adoration, as if hearts were shooting out of his eyes, before Woojin pulled him down for a kiss. On the lips ('what the fuck, since when have they been together?'). They jumped apart when they heard Jisung speak._

_"Good morning you two!"_

_"Uh, good morning Jisung."_

_"Woojin, can I talk to you for a minute?"_

_"Um, sure?"_

_"Go ahead, I'll stay and finish cooking."_

_"Okay."_

_Woojin quickly follows Jisung into the living room and carefully sits down on the couch, praying for the best to happen._

_"So, you and Chan huh?"_

_"Oh, yeah."_

_"How long?"_

_"What?"_

_"How long have you two been together?"_

_"Oh, about three years?"_

_"That's longer than me and Hyunjin!"_

_"Mhm."_

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"I just never found the time?"_

_"Alright.... I'll let it go this time. Let's eat."_

_"okay."_

_After they finish eating breakfast, Woojin and Chan both ask Jisung to watch movies so he can get his mind off of Hyunjin and he agrees. They wait for him to choose a movie before sitting on the couch and cuddling. About halfway through the proposal, Chan looks over to check on Jisung and finds him smiling at the T.v. so he turns back to Woojin, but when he checks on Jisung during the second movie (the notebook) and finds Jisung clutching his phone (with a picture of him and Hyunjin visibly showing) while tears strolled down his face at a rapid pace, he quickly nudged Woojin and pointed in the general direction of Jisung, waiting for Woojin to notice the way Jisung looked. When Woojin finally did notice Jisung, he looked over the poor boy before speaking up._

_"Do you wanna talk to us Jisung?"_

_"No...."_

_"We're here to help you if you need it, and I think you need some help as of right now."_

_"Yeah, I think so too, so do you wanna talk to us about it? Hell, if you only want to talk to Woojin I can leave."_

_"No, that's okay.... You can both listen to it."_

_"Listen to what?_

_"The voicemail he left me."_

_"Oh."_

_"Yeah, this is it."_

_Jisung quickly taps his password into his phone and pulls up a pretty lengthy looking voicemail. He braces himself and then he quickly presses play on the voicemail. It says:_

_"Hey Jisung, this is Hyunjin. Oh wait you have my number, of course you know who this is, duh. Just forget I said the thing about this being my phone number. Anywho, I was calling to tell you that I have something important to tell you and I didn't know how to do this in person."_

_There's a long pause on the other side of the phone and some shuffling before they hear Hyunjin breathe in and begin to talk again._

_"So, I've been thinking a lot lately about how we've been doing. I don't think we've gotten very far in the past two years, it's like we're at a standstill with nowhere to go. I know this is probably one of the biggest dick moves you've ever encountered in your life, and if it isn't then I'm so sorry because you deserve better Jisung, you really do; you deserve so much better,_

_"You're a really beautiful, attractive man Jisung, and you can have anybody you want....but I'm so sorry. I know I've made so many promises to you and I know I'm breaking every single promise I made with this voicemail, but I've come to the point where I frankly don't care anymore. So here I go:_

_"I don't love you anymore. I don't feel anything; there's nothing there between us on my part and, although I have no idea how you have felt about me during those times, I just can't keep living this way. There isn't a thrill anymore because everything is so monotone in this world. It's not your fault, so please don't think it is. God please don't feel like this is your fault, that's the last thing I wanted,_

_"Two years is a really long time Jisung, and you've committed your time to giving me more than enough and I fear that I won't be able to do the same for you. Yes, I was drunk when you texted me the other night, and I just couldn't stand the fact that I've been lying to you for a year and six months,_

_"I've found someone else Jisung, and I really love him. I can't keep lying to you and pushing him to the back burner because he means so much to me. He means the entire world to me and I can't keep pushing him aside to pretend I'm still as in love with you as I was two years ago because he deserves better than that, and you deserve better than some asshole lying to you to save your feelings. Please find someone that makes you happy Jisung, you deserve that much. You deserve someone that makes you happy like the person I love makes me,_

_"His name is Kim Seungmin, and I met him before I met you, but I never told him that I loved him because I was scared, but then six months after you asked me out I finally felt bold. I tried really hard to ignore him and move on, but I couldn't forget him. I love Seungmin. I have loved Seungmin for such a long time, even before me and you and I was so happy to figure out that he could actually possibly love me back...which is where you come in Jisung. I know I will regret this, but I think we should break up. I am so sorry for this, but you need to move on. It was fun while it lasted,_

_"I still want to be your best friend, I think we were always better that way. I know you think I'm such a dick, but this is for the better; before we got too serious, you know? I hope you'll forgive me for this one day because I need you in my life Jisung, I need you as my best friend. I love you. Goodbye."_

_Woojin and Chan sat in stunned silence as the contents of the voicemail processed through their brains, and when they finally understood they immediately wrapped Jisung in a huge bone crushing hug._

_"He's right you know. You do deserve better, so go out and find him!"_

_"Yeah, what Woojin said!"_

_"Shut up Chan, you're literally the most annoying person in the world."_

_"But you love him."_

_"I do."_

"You ready?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah! Let's go."

Jisung got up and followed Minho to the door, locking it once they're both outside. Once they were outside, Jisung led the way to a small park where he and Minho talked for hours on end, getting to know each other and getting closer. Halfway through their small talk, Jisung gained the courage to ask Minho for his number because 'we're friends now, I think we should talk more' came out of his mouth and Minho actually decided to agree with him.

*  
*  
*

Minho has been texting Jisung for the past three months straight about random things. He thinks Minho's becoming more and more charming to him. Jisung also thinks he's starting to feel attracted to Minho romantically, which is not a good thing because why would Minho love him? He needs love advice so he goes to his friend-turned boyfriend-turned enemy-turned best friend named Hyunjin, whom he'd made up with and become best friends with in the past three months, to help with his small problem.

To: BeanPole  
Help me, ASAP  
Sent at 1:27 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
With what?  
Received at 1:47 P.M

To: BeanPole  
I said ASAP  
It's literally been 20 minutes  
I could've died  
ANYWAY  
...  
I need love advice  
Sent at 1:50 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
Love advice? With who?  
*wiggles eyebrows suggestively*  
Received at 1:53 P.M

To: BeanPole  
I suddenly don't feel like associating myself with you...  
Sent at 1:54 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
It's Minho, isn't it?  
Received at 1:55 P.M

To: BeanPole  
...  
Sent at 1:56 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
It so is!! My advice is just go for it!  
Received at 1: 59 P.M

New message from: MinnieMouse.

To: BeanPole  
Speaking of the Devil. Brb.   
Sent at 2:03 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: Jibaby  
Hey hey!  
Received 2:00 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
Hiya!  
Sent at 2:04 P.M

To: Jibaby  
I have a question.  
Received at 2:07 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
I have an answer.  
Sent at 2:09 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Wanna hang out later?  
Received at 2:13 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: BeanPole  
Quick!  
He asked me to hang out with him!!!!  
Sent at 2:14 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
Chill bro, he literally asked you to hang out   
not for your hand in marriage....  
Just tell him yes  
Ask what he wants to do.  
Received at 2:15 P.M

To: BeanPole  
You're a lifesaver!  
Sent at 2:15 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
I know, I try.  
Received at 2:16 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: MinnieMouse  
Sure! Whatchya wanna do?  
Sent at 2:16 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Um, well...you see...  
Received at 2:22 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
???  
Sent at 2:23 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Doyoumaybewanna  
Goonadatewithmethat  
Ihaveplannedalreadybut  
Itsasurprisesoicanttellyou  
Butwillyousayyesanyway  
Becauseikindofreallylikeyoualot??  
Received at 2:30 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: BeanPole  
[image attached]  
Decipher?   
Sent at 2:31 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
Oh mY GOD!!!  
He's ASKING YOU ON A DATE  
!!!!!!!  
Received at 2:33 P.M

To: BeanPole  
??  
Sent at 2:33 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
He literally asked you on a date!  
His exact words are:  
Do you maybe wanna  
Go on a date with me that  
I've planned already but  
It's a surprise so I can't tell you  
But will you say yes anyway  
Because I kind of really like you a lot??  
Received at 2:35 P.M

To: BeanPole  
He didn't, stop lying.  
Sent at 2:35 P.M

To: UglyBoi  
Whatever you say my friend.  
Received at 2:36 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: Jibaby  
...  
.  
...  
..  
.  
.  
.  
.  
....  
Received at 2:36 P.M

To Jibaby  
I said:  
Do you maybe wanna  
Go on a date with me that  
I've planned already but  
It's a surprise so I can't tell you  
But will you say yes anyway  
Because I kind of really like you a lot??  
Received at 2:45 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
...  
Oh.  
Sent at 2:46 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
When are you going to pick me up?  
Sent at 2:48 P.M

To: Jibaby  
You know what it was a stupid question  
Wait, what?  
You're saying yes?  
Received at 2:48 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
Yes.  
So, what time?  
Sent at 2:50 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Holy shit  
Okay  
Um  
8  
?  
Received at 2:54 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
Alright~  
Sent at 2:56 P.M

To: Jibaby  
See you at 8.  
Received at 2:57 P.M

To: MinnieMouse  
What do I wear?  
Sent at 2:8 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Whatever is fine.  
Received at 3:00 P.M

To: Minniemouse  
Okay, see ya later~  
Sent at 3:05 P.M

To: Jibaby  
Okay~  
Received at 3:05 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: Seungmin's C.R.U.S.H  
Seungmin  
Help  
ASAP  
Jisung SAID YES  
SOS  
SOS  
SOS  
ASAP  
Received at 3:08 P.M

To: Jisung'sLoverBoi  
This is Hyunjin  
...  
Sent at 3:10 P.M

To: Seungmin'sC.R.U.S.H  
Shit.  
Received at 3:12 P.M

To: Jisung'sLoverBoi  
Seungmin?   
As in the very attractive Seungmin?  
With nice muscles and a pretty smile?  
And fluffy hair?   
And great dancing skills?  
...  
The one I'm in the friendzone with?   
That Seungmin?  
Is he dense?  
Or does he just not like Me?  
Sent at 3:17 P.M

To: Jisung'sLoverBoi  
SHIT!!!  
I didn't say anything!!!  
Keep your mouth shut.  
Please, I really didn't mean to say those things!!  
Sent at 3:18 P.M

To: Seungmin'sC.R.U.S.H  
Yes, that Seungmin  
Sent at 3:18 P.M

To: Seungmin'sC.R.U.S.H  
By the way he LOVES you  
[image sent]  
It's sad really  
Received at 3:20 P.M

To: Jisung'sLoverBoi  
Holy SHIT  
Sent at 3:21 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: SeungeW  
Help me...  
Sent at 3:25 P.M

To: Trashho  
I have problems of my own  
Received at 3:27 P.M

To: SeungeW  
Fucking ask Hyunjin out then.  
Sent at 3:29 P.M

To: Trashho  
Are you insane?  
Received at 3:330 P.M

To: SeungeW  
He literally loves you...  
[image sent]  
He just texted me that gross shit.  
Sent at 3:33 P.M

To: Trashho  
HOLY  
FUCKING  
AHIT  
SHIT*  
!!!!  
SHOULD I ASK HIM OUT RIght nOW!!???  
Received at 3:36 P.M

To: SeungeW  
Uh, duh...  
Also what should I wear on MY date.  
Sent at 3:37 P.M

To: Trashho  
HOLY SHIT  
HE SAID YES???  
HOLY FUCK  
Minho  
HOLY FUCKING SHIt bro  
I'M PROUD  
FUCK  
WEAR YOUR RIPPED JEANS  
AND YOUR NICE BLACK SWEATAEr  
SWEATER*  
THE ONE MADE WITH HOLES IN TI  
WEAR THAT  
WIth   
A   
BEANIE  
Received at 3:44 P.M

To: SeungeW  
Thanks, go.  
Go ask him out  
NOW  
N  
O  
W  
DO IT  
N  
O  
W  
Sent at 3:46 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: Myoneandonly  
Hi Hyunjin!  
Sent at 3:46 P.M

To: CuteBoi  
Heyyo  
Received at 3:46 P.M

To: Myoneandonly  
I have a question.  
Sent at 3:47 P.M

To: CuteBoi  
Sure, what's up?  
Received at 3:47 P.M

To: Myoneandonly  
Do you maybe  
Wanna go out with me?  
Like on a date.  
Sent at 3:50 P.M

To: CuteBoi  
HOly shit.  
Received at 3:50 P.M

To: CuteBoi  
I Mean yes.  
Received at 3:50 P.M

Change CuteBoi to MyBoi?  
[yes] / no

*  
*  
*

To: Trashho  
Double date?  
Received at 3:54 P.M

To: SeungeW  
No shit!  
He said yes?  
Holy shit, congrats!  
Sure double date  
Sent at 3:58 P.M

To: Trashho  
8?  
Received at 4:00 P.M

To: SeungeW  
Yep   
Sent at 4:00 P.M

*  
*  
*

To: Myoneandonly  
I'll pick you up at 8.  
So, see you then?  
Sent at 4:00 P.M

To: MyBoi  
Okay~  
Received at 4:01 P.M

Jisung is frantic when he gets ready for his and Minho's date. Minho shoots him a text stating that it's a double date between them and Seungmin (plus Hyunjin) and he replies with a quick okay. He quickly pulls on some ripped skinny jeans and a pink sweatshirt. He fixes his hair and then he's out the door, ready to hop into the passenger seat of Minho's car.

When Minho does arrive and he opens the door Jisung notices Hyunjin and Seungmin talking animatedly in the background about stupid things like when the next episode of NCT LIFE would air and 'how cute Renjun looked sleeping' as Seungmin added 'And he was sleeping next to Chenle! My ship has sailed!'. Jisung rolled his eyes as he looked at Minho, who was wearing ripped skinny jeans and a black sweater with holes in it while looking hella fine, and begged him to know where they were going for the fifteenth time in a minute. He pouted when he received the same answer of 'that's for me to know and you to find out'.He looked out the window to pass the time and hoped with all of his heart that his blabber mouth of a best friend wouldn't ruin this for him because he'd like to keep Minho around for a while.

When Minho stopped the car Jisung found himself staring at the front entrance of his favorite restaurant. Minho looked at him asking if it was okay which he replied with a quick 'this is my favorite place in the whole world!'. Minho instantly lit up replying with a 'me too' as Hyunjin and Seungmin booed in the background. They quickly got out of the car and made their way to the small family owned restaurant. The familiarity of his childhood came crashing back and he just smiled as he looked around the restaurant trying to remember every small detail as someone came out to come seat them.

"Jisung? Han Jisung, is that you?"

Jisung turns around to find the owner of the restaurant looking at him with the biggest smile he's ever seen her sport.

"Yes ma'am it is."

"It's so good to see you sweetie! I've missed you and your family. Are they not with you today?"

"No, not today."

"Ah, you're with your friends! How sweet. Are there only four of you?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Awe, you guys must be good friends- oh my goodness, are you guys on a double date? My son told me he was going on a double date and said he'd bring them here, after I begged him to of course, but I think it's just a coincidence that my favorite person in the whole world besides my son is also on a double date tonight. How cute!"

"It sure is."

"Yeah it is, oh hi Minho sweetie, you're here too!"

"Yes I am."

"Oh my god, are you here for the double date now?"

"yeah"

"Well, where's your date then?"

"You're kind of talking to him."

"What?"

"You're talking to him."

"Oh my goodness, Jisung's your date for tonight!! That's so cute! My two favorite people in the world on a date! I can't believe it! I'm assuming Seungmin and that cute fellow are coming with you for this date?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Alrighty! What's your name sweetie?"

"Hyunjin."

"Oh my goodness, I have heard so many good things about you! Follow me!"

Minho's mother, the owner of the restaurant, led them to a booth where he then took their orders and sent them to the cook, who was Minho's father, as she made their drinks. She watched them interact from behind the counter and felt so happy for all four boys. When the food was ready she quickly took it to their booth and then walked over to her husband who had waved her over. Once the boys were finished with their food, she walked back over with the cake her husband had baked for them and set it down on their table quickly before walking away. When they had gotten up to pay she just waved them out of the restaurant with a quick 'don't worry, it's on us.'

Minho quickly drove them to a park so they could walk around and let Seungmin walk with Hyunjin without being interrupted. He took Jisung's hand and led him away from the other two males as Seungmin gave him the 'I know what you're going to do look' and took Hyunjin the other way by the hand. Minho started swinging their hands and humming lightly and when they reached the other end of the park he turned them back around so they could walk back to the other two boys.

Halfway through the walk back Minho stopped in his tracks causing Jisung to stop and look at him concerned. Minho looked at him, quite nervously, and then looked down.

"I really like you Jisung."

"I like you too."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Minho smiled really wide and pulled Jisung in for the hugest hug and then pulled him in for a gentle kiss.

(the other side of the park)

Seungmin taps his foot at a rapid pace as he sits next to Hyunjin on the bench. He keeps stealing glances at the boy (who's eating ice cream that Seungmin had bought him) and makes a decision before he quickly clears his throat.

"Hyunjin?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Said boy, who'd just finished his ice cream, looked at Seungmin with wide eyes and his mouth agape.

"What did you just say?"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Holy shit."

Hyunjin hugs Seungmin and then realizes his mistake.

"I mean yes."

Seungmin chuckles and pulls Hyunjin in for a kiss. When he pulls away Hyunjin whines and kisses him again (and again and again and again) until he is finally satisfied.

Minho and Jisung have been dating for three years and Minho's never felt so sure of anything in his entire life as much as he is sure of this one thing. He loves Jisung more than anything in the entire world and he'd give anything to be with him. When he finally came to that realization, he'd taken Seungmin and Hyunjin out all day to help him through this terrifying process.

Minho couldn't help but to feel nervous, he's never done something like this before. He's so worried about Jisung's reaction that he completely misses Jisung walking in until he comes to sit across from Minho. He quickly smiles at Jisung, albeit a little nervously, before asking how his day had gone. They quickly gave their orders and sat talking about small things.

Their food came and so did the silence. Minho felt awkward; he didn't know what to do. He was too busy processing how many ways this could possibly go wrong to notice or even strike conversation with the male haunting his mind. They ate in silence for thirty minutes before Minho paid and led Jisung outside and began walking Jisung to the planned location.

The walk itself was five minutes, without distractions that is, but Jisung kept pulling Minho back when he wanted to stop and observe the beauty of the nature surrounding them, so the walk to the park took about twenty five minutes. Minho led them to a fountain in the center of the pond, one that lit up different colors at night, and took a deep breath before fumbling for that velvety box in his coat pocket. When he found it he gave it one hard grip before clasping it in his hand and slowly pulling it out of his jacket. He looked over at Jisung and then down at his feet.

"Jisung?"

"Yes?"

"I know this is sudden, but-"

"But what?"

"I really love you, to the moon and back-"

"I love you too...you're not breaking up with me are you?"

"No! God no! I love you more than anything or anyone else in this entire world! I'm so lucky to have you as my boyfriend, and I would never get rid of the best thing that happened to me, but there is something else I've planned. I love you and all of your flaws, like waking up at 6 am and not going back to sleep, and I will never stop loving you. I want to continue to wake up at the ass crack of dawn just to see you smile, I want to continue to be the person that you yell at for eating the food while you're cooking instead of helping you cook, I want to continue to be with you which is why I bought you this-"

Jisung gasps as Minho pulls out a small velvet box. Jisung isn't one hundred percent sure what the contents of the box are, but he has a hunch and suddenly begins to sweat because he's not ready for such a commitment. He's not ready for that yet because he's so young and inexperienced and he wants to know that he's making the right choice when he finally agrees.

Tears start to flow down his face, rapidly, but they aren't the good kind. They're not tears of joy or excitement; they flow with the feeling of sorrow, pain. He wishes he could turn back as he watches Minho open the box and kneel to the ground on one knee. Minho shoves the box closer to Jisung's face, a look of pure terror crossing his face as he utters the next words:

"Will you marry me?"

Jisung blinks once, twice. He looks at Minho with a nervous expression as his hand comes to cover his mouth, his jaw nearly reaching the ground, as he tries to will the tears away because he's not happy that Minho's asked this question. He wants with all of his heart to say no; that they should wait longer because they're too young and reckless but his words fail him, they get caught in his throat. He knows what his answer should be, but he freezes and all he can do is nod his head.

He waits as Minho tackles him in a hug and places kisses all over his face. He waits as Minho slides the beautiful ring onto his hand and-

'Oh, how much did this cost?'

He feels slightly better as Minho grabs him by the waist and pulls him in for a slow kiss, tears slowly falling down his own face. When Minho pulls away Jisung pulls him closer and hugs him, taking in his scent hoping that maybe it would calm him down and let him hope that everything would be alright.

The day finally arrives, only after months and months of torturous thoughts eating Jisung alive. He was so terrified and he didn't know what to do. He was so plagued by the events of the day that would occur later on and how they would turn out that he didn't notice Hyunjin walk in.

"Don't be nervous."

"Oh, wow because that's so easy to do."

"You're overthinking it, Jisung."

"No, I'm appropriately thinking about it, Hyunjin."

"Why are we even friends Jisung? Could you tell me because I don't remember being best friends with a wimp."

"I wonder the same thing everyday, why I'm friends with such a sarcastic person I mean"

"Oh my god, just get dressed and get out there! This is supposed to be good for you."

"But-"

"Seungmin and I are rooting for you, Jisung. Go get him!"

"O-okay."

"Remember, don't be nervous!"

"That doesn't lessen the fact that I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Hyunjin."

"Don't worry, everything will be fine!"

"How do you know that?"

"I just do!"

"Okay."

"I'm gonna go find Seungmin, who's probably having this same exact conversation with Minho, and find our seats. It'll be okay, I promise."

Jisung plastered a fake smile onto his face and waved as his best friend walked through the door, and as soon as Hyunjin shut the door behind him he deflated. He turned to look at himself in the mirror one last time, asking himself if he was ready for such a commitment. He'd found his answer quickly, and was ready. He looked at the time before noticing that his panicking had taken up so much time and that it was already time to get the show on the road.

He lined up at the back of the line in front of him, his arm locked with his father's as he scanned what he could see of the audience to find his mom. The line started moving and he heard gasps, and he was expecting he would because the line consisted of only men, Hyunjin being right in front of him. Hyunjin turned around and winked at him before he also made his way into the room, the audience's eyes on him.

Then the music suddenly changes and Jisung becomes worried as his father nudges him, urging him to move forward. He quickly looks at his father, then plasters a smile on his face while making his way into the room as the whole audience stands in stunned silence. He sees Hyunjin at the altar giving him two big thumbs up and relaxes a little as his father continues walking him down the aisle. When he reaches the end his father kisses his cheek and hands him off to Minho who's giving Jisung a comforting smile, telling him everything will be okay. The wedding ceremony continues without a hitch, that is until:

"Lee Minho, do you take Han Jisung to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do."

"Han Jisung, do you take Lee Minho to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

Jisung gulps and looks around the audience before catching the eyes of his worried mother. She knows what he's thinking and he sees how she's looking at him as if he were a kicked puppy. He takes a deep breath and looks at Minho one last time before whispering two final words to him.

"I'm sorry."

Minho looks at him, confused, but Jisung doesn't think to look at his face because all he can think of is what to do next. He quickly lets go of Minho's hands and turns, walking back down the aisle (from the way he entered) and leaving the church without looking back, not noticing the pain and hurt etched onto Minho's face as his tears fall relentlessly, soaking his shirt in the process.

Jisung finds a way to his (and Minho's) house, and when he does he packs his stuff. He quickly throws everything he's packed into the backseat of his car before going back into the house one last time to check for misplaced items and a notebook and pen. He tried to be as quick as possible, as he knew Minho would most likely be on his way here and he didn't want to see him right now, when writing a note, what he hopes to be the last note, to Minho. When he's finally done he leaves the notebook opened to the page he wrote on and places the notebook on the bed before stepping out of the door for what seems to be the last time.

_Minho,_

_I'm so sorry that I ran out on you at the wedding, but I don't think I'm ready. I know you've loved me endlessly for the past three years and I've loved you just as much. I still love you and I always will love you. I know you're thinking that if I love you, which I do (very much), why would I run out of the wedding on you. Well, here's why._

_I love you so much Minho, so much, but you deserve better. I don't think I am good enough for you, so it's best if I stay away from you. I don't know what good means, I'm bad at relationships. You of all people should know my extensive list of bad relationships, and I don't want you to be on that list._

_I can't marry you, I just can't. I'll ruin you. I'm no good for you, you should just keep away. Be happy, and you don't need me to do that. I really wish I could've married you, but I couldn't. I'm still very much in love with Hyunjin and I can't fully commit myself to you if I can't stop thinking about him. I need this time to myself, you should think things over too. Ask yourself if you think I truly deserve to be your husband, I have and my answer is no. I would make a terrible husband. Please forget about me, it's for the best._

_I hope you'll forget me, please move on. I'm trying to, so you should too. Please don't come searching for me, I know you do things like that. Just forget me, it's not hard I promise._

_I love you. Forever and always,_

_Jisung_

_P.S. I'm sorry for all of this mess, I truly am. I'm sorry for everything._

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and cringing, and if you stopped halfway through? don't blame you!   
~stay beautiful.
> 
> scream at me on twt @joneinyourarea


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